The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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