why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
