They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
