It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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