Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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