Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
