So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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