Do vagina's smell?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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