I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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