The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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