I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
