I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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