Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
