Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Can I color on your dick again?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
