but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
