Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
