dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
