Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
