he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
