shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
