Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
my liver is dry heaving
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
