I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't put those talents on a resume
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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