god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
