Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
