I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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