Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
