i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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