he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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