I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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