btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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