My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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