this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
