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put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
