Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
