The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
