To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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