There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
