Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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