End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pants are for mortals
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
