Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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