I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
