Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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