they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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