I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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