you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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