I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
