my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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