Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Found your dick twin last night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
