Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
