He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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