I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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