Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
